


Loved Him Right (Right?)

by grapefruitsnacks



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Leo Valdez, Coming Out, Grieving, Implied/Referenced Character Death, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Piper McLean, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Underage Drinking, so spoilers about a certain death and a certain girlfriend, takes place after the tower of nero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27355573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapefruitsnacks/pseuds/grapefruitsnacks
Summary: Leo knocks on Piper's door.It’ll be fine. Just because his best friend’s ex-boyfriend and love of her life died and Leo totally ghosted her after a totally silent Festus ride home where Piper hugged him too tight and they both pretended they were only crying because of the wind chill doesn’t mean this visit is going to be awkward or devastating or really anything involving negative feelings. Nope. It’s gonna be totally fine.
Relationships: Piper McLean & Leo Valdez
Comments: 12
Kudos: 64





	Loved Him Right (Right?)

_“The Bad Boy Supreme’s voicemail. To all the ladies, I’m sorry but I’m locked down alla the most gorgeous girl on this hemisphere. Feel free to cry in my voicemail. Although I don’t know why you’re calling when texting exists. Anywho leave a message after the-”_ BEEEEEP _._

_“Oh, um, hi, Leo. Listen, I know we haven’t talked a lot since- Well. You know. Since Jason- Well, since Jason. You should come over though. Sometime. If you’re not too busy. My dad’s doing another movie so the house is empty usually. Wooo. You know teenagers empty house that type of thing. *beat passes* I miss you. So, um, call me. If it’s safe to, you know, use your phone. Or just come by. Up to you. But, like, no pressure if you can’t. So, um, bye.”_

Thank gods the McLean’s backyard is basically big enough to land a plane. Or a fifty-ton automaton dragon. You know, whatever floats your boat. 

Leo slides off the dragon’s back, clutching his backpack as he does so. He pats Festus’ head, hand rubbing against metal scales, and Festus pushes against his hand like a loving cat. Leo chuckles. “Thanks for the ride, dude.”

Like gears shifting, Festus groans in response. Leo will get oil for Festus later. Right now, he had to face this pure glass monster of a mansion. He grips the straps of his backpacks tighter, ignoring how the sweat on his hands is making the fabric slide through his fingers despite the insanely tight grip. 

It’ll be fine. Just because his best friend’s ex-boyfriend and love of her life died and Leo totally ghosted her after a totally silent Festus ride home where Piper hugged him too tight and they both pretended they were only crying because of the wind chill doesn’t mean it’s going to be awkward or devastating or really anything involving negative feelings. Nope. It’s gonna be totally fine. 

Leo knocks on the glass sliding door. It makes a sound similar to wood, and Leo wonders if the glass is bulletproof or monster-proof or made of some new material only the Hollywood elite know about. He could probably remake this if he knew how tough it is. He considers slamming his fist against the glass to see if it breaks, but if it actually breaks, that would be really awkward. 

_Hey, Piper, haven’t seen you in months but how’s the grieving been? Devastating? Nightmares? Constant sobbing? Your girlfriend literally packing up and going to band camp because your relationship’s going down the crapper and you can’t even find it within yourself to fight like you should because you just feel so incredibly exhausted all the fucking time? Yeah no, totally not me but just wondering in a strictly hypothetical sense because I hear that’s very common. Anywho, I broke your window and now my hand’s bleeding. You got a first aid kit?_

Actually, a broken window might be a great ice breaker. Or glass breaker. Might take the edge off of the whole ghosting and ghost-Jason thing. 

Leo is still debating whether or not to try smashing the window when Piper opens the door. Leo opens his mouth to speak but for once, he comes up empty.

She has bangs. That’s what he notices first. Light, almost feathery bangs that are slightly uneven like the rest of her hastily chopped hair. It works on her. 

Her eyes are more muted than usual. Instead of crystal blue and emerald green and rich brown, the colors meld into this muted, almost stormy gray color. And her mouth is set slightly differently. Like it’s been frozen in a frown so long she doesn’t know how to smile.

The two of them stare at each other for a moment like they are strangers. Like Leo is just there to drop off a pizza then hop back on his bronze dragon for his next delivery of the day. There’s no weird glass between them, but there’s something weird between them. The question is who is going to shatter this barrier first.

Leo breaks first because awkward situations are no problem for Mr. Bad Boy Supreme. Awkward situation? Call immediately. He might as well be called Awkward-Situation Buster. Like Ghostbusters but arguably way cooler. Fire powers, obviously, beat stupid vacuums. 

He smiles widely and holds out his arms wide in either a gesture for a hug or a simple _look-at-me-I’m-here-in-the-flesh-sorry-no-autographs_ gesture. “Surprise!”

Piper blinks, still looking like a computer lagging, before the hazy expression on her face breaks. She pulls Leo into a hug, almost crushing his ribs. Leo grunts in protest. “Hey, important body here. Handle with care.”

Piper laughs gleefully in his ear like she doesn’t look ten years older. “I missed you so fucking much.”

Leo exhales and laughs at the same time. He feels like he can breathe for the first time since he got Piper’s voicemail. He didn’t fuck everything up. He didn’t lose his two best friends and girlfriend at once. Thank all the fucking gods. Even Zeus. He’s ready to thank every-fucking-one. 

“Oh my gods, same, Pipes.” Leo is the one to crush Piper’s ribs this time. He even lifts her up a couple of inches, which he’s very proud of considering she’s already a couple of inches taller. Piper laughs into his shoulder. 

When he lets her go, he keeps his hands on her waist so she doesn’t go too far away. He doesn’t remember how he dealt with that before. Piper’s still smiling, eyes crinkled, and Leo really doesn’t want to see that glassy, stormy look ever again.

She steps to the side so that Leo can step in and drop his backpack by the door, and she closes the door behind him. He’s been in here before, but the sleek white and black lines never fail to take his breath away. It’s nice, for a museum, but it must begin to feel a bit like a coffin.

Wait. Bad choice of words. Like a marble encased box. Yeah. That’s better.

Piper looks around the room as if seeing it for the first time, and the smile tightens a little, and Leo’s heart tightens a lot. “The dudes must love this place.”

Leo mentally slaps himself for that remark because OH RIGHT. Dead ex-boyfriend. Piper must be thinking that too because she laughs awkwardly. “Shockingly not a dude magnet.”

Leo nods a bit too rapidly. “Huge shocker.”

Now that the initial excitement is out of the way, it’s like each other’s company isn’t enough. Somebody’s going to have to say _it_ first, and it’s creating this coffin full of unadulterated tension. 

Piper clears her throat. “I was gonna order a pizza for dinner, but-”

“I can cook.”

Yeah, he ain’t saying _it_ first. Cooking though? That he can do. 

And maybe that can break the tension. He’s a damn good cook. Maybe the dead-ex-boyfriend-thing doesn’t even have to come up in conversation because his fajitas are just that goddamn good. It’s possible. He has escaped monsters’ clutches because of them before but that’s a long story. 

Piper perks up again at the mention of his cooking. He can almost hear her salivate. “You don’t have to do that, Leo.”

“Nah. You know me. Always willing to cook. Got an apron?”

She does, but it’s hot pink and frilly. Piper winces as she hands it to him. “I think this is from my dad’s Halloween costume last year.”

Leo wears it anyway, and he spins to show off the frilly material. It’s tissue-paper thin, and it’s honestly going to do absolutely nothing in the case of spills but whatever. He’s rocking it. And it’s making this kitchen with a marble island and black cabinets and white floors slightly less impersonal. “Hot or not?”

Piper sits at the island, and she’s not quite laughing, but she’s on the verge of doing so. Score. “Definitely hot.”

Leo winks overdramatically. “Right choice, Pipes.” He opens the refrigerator to be faced with a jar of mayonnaise, a loaf of white bread, and leftover Chinese food. He turns back to Piper with a raised eyebrow. “Isn’t your dad a billionaire?”

“Millionaire. Billionaire’s a misconception.”

“Ah. My mistake. No wonder he can’t afford any food.”

“Yeah, I kinda survive off of takeout.”

“You poor poor girl. Of course your life goes to shit when I’m not around.”

Leo is so glad that his head is in the refrigerator when he said that because his whole face scrunched up due to his verbal fuck-up. Yeah. Of course. Great time to point out that her life has gone to shit. Leo resists the urge to smack his head against the empty refrigerator shelf.

Instead, he searches in the bottom drawer of the fridge. Shockingly, he finds celery, butter, and cheese. He grabs the latter two and the bread. He turns around, showing off his bounty. “Looks like it’s grilled cheese time.”

In the time that Leo was turned around, Piper’s face had already tightened and aged again. Leo’s face fights to imitate her’s. There’s nothing he wants more than to break down. But he fights the urge and smiles wider. “Do we have any tomato soup in this place?”

Piper slides off of the stool. “I’ll check.”

Leo nods, still smiling comically large. As Piper searches in random cabinets for soup cans, he finds a griddle in one drawer and a knife in yet another. He heats up the griddle and stacks the slices of cheese on the bread. He drops a slab of butter on the pan, and it sizzles in response. He places the sandwiches on top.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Piper dumping a can of soup into a pot and placing it on the burner to his right. Really, they are standing a foot away from each other, but Leo pretends not to notice. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t have a joke right now.

So he focuses on the sandwiches, pressing them into the butter to melt the cheese in the middle like a human panini press. Cooking, like machines, makes sense. You melt butter, you toast bread, you fry cheese. You don’t add water to hot oil or cheese to fish or baking soda to vinegar. Things just make sense. You can’t fuck it up too bad if you just follow the rules.

There are no rules here, and he’s in uncharted territory. So he shuts up and focuses on the sandwiches. They cook all too quickly, and he places them on these ocean blue plates, cuts them into little triangles, and pours the soup into bowls. It’s alphabet soup, not tomato soup, but it’s close enough.

He slides the plate in front of Piper, smiling widely. “Piping hot like me.”

She smiles at Leo, but it looks just as forced as Leo’s smile feels. “Thanks.”

Leo sits next to her and bites into his grilled cheese. It makes a crunch sound, just like he knew it would. Perfect, of course. They chew in silence, watching the sun set over the kitchen sink in the wall of glass. He sees Festus outside the window and he tries to convey his awkward situation to his friend.

Unfortunately, Festus is passed out. Or he doesn’t care that Leo can’t seem to connect with his best friend again. Probably the former, but Leo still curses him out in his head before profusely apologizing for ever daring to speak an ill word towards him.

Leo’s halfway done with his sandwich when he says, “You ever notice that Oklahoma looks like one of those giant foam hand things people wave at football games if it was turned on its side?”

Piper almost chokes on her sandwich as she giggles. “You are weird.”

Leo smiles and tries to focus on the giggling and not the fact that Jason always used to say that to him. He can’t think about that. “You’re the one who lives in the weirdest state ever.”

Piper laughs again. “Like Idaho is any better.”

“It doesn’t look like a foam hand, _Piper_. It’s better.”

“The badass girlfriend can’t hurt.”

They both inhale simultaneously and why did Leo think he could breathe in this house? Piper immediately says, “Oh, shit, all I meant was-”

“Nah, I get it,” Leo says. He knows she didn’t mean that at least his significant other is alive. She wouldn’t do that shit. She was just talking like before, when they didn’t have to step over verbal minefields. 

“Yeah, she’s the best. She’s at band camp now.”

Piper tilts her head. “Band camp?”

“Yeah. Like a counselor. Music and all. Music is her machines and cooking. I miss her, but it’s probably good to be apart and all.”

Piper’s eyes soften and she looks like she wants to hug him again. His hand is lying on the marble countertop, and she grabs it. “Leo,” she says quietly.

Leo pulls away. He’s not getting sympathy for simple relationship troubles when her ex is literally dead. Like in a grave. In a coffin. Out cold, ghost-like in Elysium _dead_. 

“It’s all good, Pipes.” He smiles at her, but he’s aware it’s hollow. “It’s what’s best for us.”

Her hand still lies on the counter, and it looks lonely. He suddenly feels bad for pulling away but he can’t take her hand now without it being weird.

She’s still looking at him like _he’s_ the one who's been through some shit and he hates it. “You know you can talk to me, Leo.”

He stares at his alphabet soup, and _ASS_ stares back up at him. He crafts a joke about mooning in his head but it doesn’t feel appropriate now. “Yeah, I know, Pipes.”

They’re quiet for a second, and Leo eats the rest of his sandwich. Piper breaks the silence a second after he swallows. “I’ve got alcohol and shitty board games in the basement.”

Leo grins, genuine for once. “You know me so well.”

He takes off his apron, and she leads the way to the basement and turns on a light. Of course, it’s extravagant and the forest green carpet alone probably cost thousands. But it’s less stifling than the rest of the house. There’s a bar on the far left with black pendant lights, and in the center is a wine red pool table. In the back are a couch and a TV that spans the entire length of the wall.

Piper walks behind the bar, bends down, and pulls out a bottle of vodka. Leo watches, standing in the middle of the room. “Straight from the bottle?” she asks, holding it up as a question.

Leo nods. “It’s a straight-from-the-bottle kinda night.”

Piper imitates Leo’s almost militaristic nod and brings the bottle over towards the couch in the back of the basement. Instead of sitting on it, though, she sits on the carpet, back against the couch. Leo imitates her, sitting a foot away from her with his back against the couch.

Piper holds up the bottle, eyes even stormier than before. “To Jason.”

She takes a swig, coughs, and passes it to Leo. It’s like a dam broke. She said _it_. She said his name. 

Leo nods stiffly, trying not to cry, and takes a stiff swig. “To Jason.”

Piper reaches under the couch, fishes around for a moment, and pulls out a dusty pack of playing cards. “War?”

Leo tries not to think of the war that took Jason’s life. “Sure.”

Piper shuffles the cards impressively fast, and they hit each other with a whirring sound. Leo watches, entranced, and steadily ignores that Jason should be here right now. She splits them between the two of them, and they shift so that they face each other. Leo keeps one arm on the couch, leaning his head against his hand. 

They play in silence, cards slapping the carpet and swapping hands rapidly. The only time the cards stop flying is when they need a drink so that they don’t start crying. Both of them stop choking on the burning taste after a while, used to the flavor.

Neither are drunk, but Leo’s light-headed and the room feels fuzzier like a dream and this whole thing feels easier. This feels more like Jason’s funeral than his actual funeral. He’s dead, and the whole thing sucks but at least they’ve got vodka and a war he doesn’t care about. 

It’s Piper’s turn to slap down a card, but she stops. Leo looks up, thinking she’s just taking another drink, but she’s staring over his shoulder with a haunted look in her eyes. A shiver runs down Leo’s spine, and he drinks for her. 

“I don’t think I miss him enough,” she says, voice almost artificially steady. The shiver explodes and Leo feels his whole body tingling.

“He was my best friend, Leo, and I should be a broken fucking mess. And I am, I know. Like, I usually cry over my takeout because I know that Jason would love to be here watching shitty reality tv shows with me. And he deserved to do that normal shit you know? He would have loved to do that normal shit if he wasn’t so determined to be a fucking hero all the time. Like did he ever get to do that normal shit, Leo? He should have gotten to do that normal shit.”

She grabs the bottle of vodka from Leo’s hands and takes another swig. He didn’t even know he was holding it to his chest like a teddy bear. Leo inches closer to her, ruining the stacks of cards in front of them but who cares about fucking war? He wants her to feel that he’s here for her. 

She sets the bottle down. “But I think I don’t miss him enough. I shouldn’t be able to get out of bed, Leo. I shouldn’t be able to move. Why didn’t the world stop when he died? It should have. It should have fucking stopped.”

She’s quiet for a moment. “And I’m dating again. Already. I know we were broken up and all, but it feels like I’m pissing on his grave even though I know he’d tell me it was okay if he could. But hearing his voice in my head tell me that it’s okay and he doesn’t mind and he just wants me to be happy makes it all worse. And I feel so guilty all the time. Am I doing this whole thing wrong? This mourning thing?”

Leo takes her hand in his, sets it on his lap. She stops talking, wide eyes like she’s holding back tears meeting his own. He says, “You’re not doing anything wrong. If Jason’s voice isn’t enough, I’m telling you, you have nothing to feel guilty about, Pipes.”

He means it too. He thought it would be hard to talk about Jason, but Piper needs him and that overrides any personal turmoil.

She’s quiet for a moment. “I haven’t told you the worst part though.”

“It can’t be that bad, Pipes.”

“They’re girls,” she says. “The people I’m dating. Girls.”

Maybe it’s wrong, but the first thing he feels is something like sunshine exploding in his stomach. She’s like him. She gets him. 

He’s quiet for a moment, trying to figure out how to say something that isn’t just him yelling about his own bisexuality. He decides on, “That’s not bad, though, Pipes.”

“No, you don’t get it,” she says, sounding agitated. “It’s only girls. I’m gay, Leo.”

So maybe not exactly like him. But still similar and it all still doesn’t matter. He squeezes her hand, stares into her stormy eyes so she can see his sincerity. “I don’t care, Piper.”

“I didn’t love him, Leo!” she bursts out. Tears prick at the corner of her eyes. “I didn’t love him and I was supposed to. He loved me and I couldn’t even love him back. He died not knowing why I couldn’t love him, and he must have thought something was wrong with him when really, something was wrong with _me_.”

She’s full-on sobbing at this point. “He deserved to be loved, Leo. And I couldn’t even give him that. But I’m kissing random girls and it feels _better_ and that sucks so much because it shouldn’t be better than _him._ He should have been my best kiss, and I should have been his best kiss. I might have been his best kiss, and I couldn't even reciprocate that.”

Leo pulls her into a hug. It’s a bit awkward, cards lodging between their crossed legs, but he makes it work. “Piper,” he says, quietly. He doesn’t quite know what to say, so he just hugs her tighter as she cries into his shoulder. He has to say something because he doesn’t think he can just radiate the words he wants to convey. So he opens his mouth and prays that they are what he wants them to be.

“He was loved, though. By you and me and Frank and Hazel and Percy and Annabeth and Nico and Reyna and literally everyone he met because he was magic like that. Don’t degrade your love for him just because it wasn’t romantic or something. He knew you loved him, and that was enough, okay?”

He takes a deep breath and adds, “If romantic love matters that much to you, though, I did have a crush on him. At one point.”

Piper pulls back, staring into his eyes with blurry wide eyes like Bambi. Even though she just told him she’s gay, these words are so fucking hard to say. “I’m bi.”

Piper laughs this time, and it’s slightly blubbering due to the tears, and she pulls him into a hug again. “Oh my gods, seriously?”

Leo laughs, still a bundle of nerves. He never told anyone that before. “Yeah. Very bi.”

“We really have the best coming out story ever, don’t we?”

Leo pulls back and takes another swig of the vodka. “Oh yeah. Definitely.”

Piper giggles, high-pitched and almost hysterical. She slinks backward against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “Pipes?” Leo asks.

“I didn’t like him and I dated him. You liked him and you didn’t date him. It’s ironic!”

“It’s very gay.”

She grabs the bottle of vodka and raises it to the ceiling in a salute. “Very gay.” She drinks in gay’s honor. 

Leo leans against the couch next to her. The vodka is hitting his head, and the world is getting a bit more fuzzy and warm. Everything is warm and cozy, and Piper leans her head against his shoulder.

They are quiet for a while, ceiling-gazing like they might find stars in the polished white. 

Leo breaks the silence. “What do you think he’d do if he knew about us?”

Piper is quiet, considering this with the sobriety of a sober person. “I think he’d be the first one there for us. He’d set any feelings aside and just hug us. He was the first person Nico came out to, you know.”

“Oh, I also had a crush on him.”

“Seriously? Death boy?”

“I’ve got a thing for the emo thing. Don’t judge.”

She giggles. “Not judging. Shel’s got a bit of an emo vibe going on. You know, minus the skeleton army thing.”

“Shel?” Leo asks, curious.

Piper blushes. “The girl I’ve been seeing.”

“Oh my gods, seriously?”

“Yep.”

“Cute?”

“Very. She’s got a nose-ring.”

“Wow. Hot.”

“We’ve both got hot girlfriends.”

Leo is silent. “You’ve got a hot girlfriend. I don’t know about me anymore.”

“Tell me,” she coaxes gently.

And this time, he spills. Because he doesn’t want to keep anything from Piper. “I don’t think it’s working out. I love her, Pipes, but she keeps on leaving and pulling away from me and I don’t know what to do. I know she’s gonna break up with me soon, and I can’t stop it, but I want to so badly.”

She’s quiet. “That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“You know, sometimes relationships don’t work out and you can't do anything about it. Look at me and Jason. I’m fucking gay so it wasn’t his fault.”

Leo wrings his hands. Saying these words is like spitting out bile. They're too honest, too vulnerable, and he hates it. But he also has to know what Piper thinks. “What if this was my only chance?”

“Only chance at what?”

“Like love. What if no one ever wants to date me again?” Leo closes his eyes to hold back tears. This might keep him up at night sometimes. When Jason's ghost isn't keeping him up. Or sometimes they work together, tell him the only person who loved him and wouldn't leave him is dead. He forgets Piper exists then because nothing good can exist when he goes to that dark place. 

“Dude, listen to your own advice. You’re already so fucking loved. Like, Frank literally trusted you with his life and Annabeth would literally skip a class for you and I would literally kill a man for you, okay? You are so far from unlovable it’s kinda scary.” She pauses for a moment, thinking. “And it’s okay to be alone. It doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or anything. I love you, okay?”

He feels that sunshine feeling again. He'll still go to that dark, anxious, corroding place, but maybe he'll hear Piper's voice this time. 

Leo kisses her cheek. “You are literally my favorite person ever.”

Piper shrugs. “I know, I’m the best.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and his eyes fill with tears. It feels okay to cry now, though. “I was so scared I lost you like Jason and Calypso.”

“Leo. You could literally never do that.”

They stare up at the ceiling, and Leo swears he sees stars with his teary eyes. Gods, how could he have survived these last few months without this girl?

Piper reads his mind and says, “Stay with me awhile? Meet Shel?”

“Only if I can stock your fridge.”

Piper smiles up at the ceiling, more carefree than he can ever remember. “Of course. Buy whatever you want."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! And if you really wanna cry, here’s a quote from The Lost Hero that might have inspired me:
> 
> “Leo,” Jason said, “you’re weird.”  
> “Yeah, you tell me that a lot.” Leo grinned.


End file.
